Making Peace with Your Inner Critic: A Guide for Physicians

An earlier version of this article appeared on this website in January, 2025

Your inner critic is that harsh internal voice muttering in the shadows of your thoughts, constantly critiquing, second-guessing, and comparing. It always finds you lacking. No matter how hard you try, your best is never enough.

You might experience your inner critic as the voice of a difficult family member, a tough or challenging attending from your years in training, or a demanding patient. It might even arrive in the guise of your own voice.

The inner critic often emerges from an authentic drive for self-improvement and accountability. Ultimately, it may even be a form of self-protection, shielding you from what it senses as impending harm or shame. Although its intentions may be well-meaning, if left unchecked, your inner critic inevitably creates an unhealthy cycle of self-doubt, perfectionism, and burnout.

The inner critic comes in many forms. Sometimes it is intentionally cruel. You don’t need to stand for this. This twisted manifestation of the inner critic does not deserve your attention or respect. That’s a voice that needs to be locked in a box and put out with the trash.

But if your inner critic is intrusive, with words that are especially powerful or debilitating, it’s best to seek out a therapist to help you take control.

In this article, you’ll learn how to recognize the inner critic as a voice rather than a truth. And you’ll see how you can harness its intentions, putting it to work to develop a more compassionate self-dialogue that allows you to thrive and grow.

Noticing the Inner Critic

Your inner critic might say things designed to make you question yourself, such as:

🔻“You should have caught that diagnosis sooner."

🔻"What if you made a mistake during that procedure?"

🔻"You’re just not smart enough to keep up with your colleagues."

The inner critic thrives on echoing your deepest fears. It draws strength from your attention. The more you engage with your inner critic, the more amplified and persistent it becomes. That’s why it’s crucial to recognize its influence and take steps to quiet its power.

It can help to give the inner critic a name and a mental image. You might visualize it as an annoying and unwelcome distant relative, tagging along uninvited. But instead of sitting quietly like a polite passenger, or offering respectful, constructive advice, this protective character goes into overdrive, grabbing the steering wheel and becoming harsh and punitive when it senses danger ahead. Although it may claim to know the best way forward, the inner critic may actually run you off the road and into a ditch.

It’s best to get ahead of your inner critic, rather than reacting after it takes control. By tuning in to its patterns and triggers, you can begin the process of disarming it.

Facing Down the Inner Critic

Identify patterns

When does the inner critic tend to appear? Does it strike at a specific time of day, day of the week, or month? Do you notice it when you are doing certain types of tasks?  Or does it show up when you’re exhausted and unable to block out its annoying chatter?

Understanding the recurring patterns can provide insights into the core issues your inner critic is amplifying.

Recognize your inner critic’s disguises

The inner critic can show up in sneaky ways, including

🚩People pleasing

🚩Extreme productivity

🚩Avoidance of discomfort

🚩Constant scanning for threats

🚩Overcontrolling behavior

When you learn to recognize these disguises, you can put your inner critic in its place before it takes over.

Turn down the amplitude

Delve into the narratives your inner critic spins. Recognize its dramatic and querulous nature. When your inner critic surfaces, pay attention to the specific phrases and statements it uses.

Ask yourself if there might be a different way to see things. For instance, if your inner critic says, “You’ll never get this right,” talk back to it. Recall the times you’ve successfully navigated similar challenges. Reframe its negativity into constructive, empowering thoughts. By turning its drama into dialogue, you’ll begin to regain control.

Emotional impact

Explore how your inner critic drives your emotions. Does it trigger self-doubt, frustration, or a sense of being overwhelmed? What are the underlying fears it amplifies? Can you seek out the root causes? Perhaps there’s a different way to tackle these issues.

For instance, if fear is present, can you dissect it into its parts? What are you afraid of, and what's the worst-case scenario? What skills and knowledge do you already possess? How might you target areas for improvement in knowledge or skillset that might disarm the fear?

Physical sensation

Your body probably senses the inner critic before your mind recognizes it. Maybe its a clench of your jaw, heat in your cheeks, tightening of your fists, or a burning in your stomach. Recognizing your physiological responses can serve as an early warning sign when the inner critic is near.

Consider using simple mindfulness techniques like focused breathing or even a brief walking meditation to break the spell. When you feel the inner critic approaching, remind yourself to be present in the here and now, avoiding the temptation to ruminate over the past or over-analyze what’s to come.

Acknowledge and Plan

Pinpoint the actions your inner critic prevents you from taking.  Evaluate how the inner critic seeps into your daily decision-making process. Does it hinder your ability to take crucial calculated risks or make decisions with confidence? Is it simply fear, or is there something you need in order to gain confidence? Acknowledge your limitations, if they are real, but then make a plan.

Imagine your world without the inner critic. If nothing was holding you back, what are three small actions you'd take immediately in your medical practice or your life? How might that improve your well-being, or your capacity to practice your profession at the level you aspire to?

While it may not be possible to squelch the inner critic completely, there are several important ways that you can disarm it, turning it into an ally instead of a fiend.

Name its intentions

When your inner critic pipes up, pause and ask, “What is this voice trying to protect me from?” Name the underlying fear, whether that’s avoiding a mistake, preserving your reputation, or something else. In doing so, you’ll reduce its intensity, and you’ll give yourself space to strategize and move forward.

Reframe the dialogue

Instead of letting the critic dominate, respond with curiosity and self-compassion. For example, “I hear you’re worried that I missed something, but I reviewed everything thoroughly.” This turns self-judgment into a productive conversation.

Redirect the energy

Channel the inner critic’s vigilance into positive actions. This might include creating a checklist for complex tasks, learning new skills, or seeking feedback from a trusted mentor to grow your expertise.

Practice self-compassion

Self-compassion is a crucial skill for physicians, but one that’s often overlooked. Mistakes can happen even under the best circumstances, and failure doesn’t always mean that you did something wrong. Learn from less-than-ideal outcomes and move forward. Your patients, family, and community need you.

Why Taming the Inner Critic Matters

What’s your inner critic trying to protect you from? Next time it speaks up, take a moment to listen with curiosity, not judgment. You don’t need to hand over control, but you might be surprised at how much your inner critic has been trying to help.

By reframing the inner critic as a well-meaning if sometimes misguided ally, you can reclaim your confidence, stay motivated to grow, and care for your patients with expertise and empathy. At the same time, you’ll cultivate the self-compassion that will sustain you for the long term. If it feels like a struggle, a coach or a therapist can be a valuable ally. In the end, taming the inner critic is about becoming the best version of yourself.

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If you’ve enjoyed this article and would like to stay in the loop for more insights on creating a sustainable, fulfilling, and happy life as a physician, sign up for my newsletter or reach out on my website. I’d love to hear from you.

And if you’d like to schedule a complimentary coaching discovery session, click the button below.

Physician Burnout and Self-Compassion: Five Reasons to Stop Being So Hard on Yourself

An earlier version of this article appeared on the website in April, 2024

If you’re like many physicians, it may be easy to lose sight of your value. Healthcare today faces unprecedented challenges and stressors, and it’s sometimes hard not to take it personally when things go off the rails.

Physicians are often their own toughest critics. You may find yourself frustrated when you can’t meet your own high standards, or those imposed on you that often have little to do with the care you provide. Some days it can feel like being a doctor is a thankless task. Doctor’s Day may come once a year, but your dedication deserves recognition every single day. Here are five reasons to celebrate yourself and your colleagues every day.

You Want to Do Good in the World

Medicine draws people who are not only intelligent and capable but also deeply motivated to make a difference. But wanting to do good and actually doing the work are two very different things. You do the work. Although your efforts may not always be acknowledged, your actions, big and small, directly affect the health and well-being of your patients and your community.

You Do Hard Things Every Day

Physicians regularly face situations that would rattle most people. From making life-or-death decisions to navigating complex systems that test your patience and compassion, you do hard things every day. The administrative and emotional load is heavy, yet you show up. You care about your patients and their outcomes. You keep going. That resilience and strength put you in a league of your own.

You Are Passionate About Your Work

Passion is the lifeblood of innovation and motivation. Physicians often pursue their profession because of a deep-seated passion for healing and discovery. Even on days when you feel less than enthusiastic, your years of focus and commitment drive you to do your best work.

You Come from All Walks of Life

Physicians come from every corner of the world, and every background imaginable. Whether you grew up in a rural town or a large urban community, a US metroplex or a country thousands of miles away, each physician carries a distinctive set of perspectives and skills. The unique perspective you bring, shaped by your culture, upbringing, and experiences, makes medicine stronger and more humane.

You Are a Force for Change

Physicians are often at the forefront of change, not only in their clinics or hospitals but also in the broader context. Collectively, you have the power to influence healthcare policy, improve patient care standards, and lead community health initiatives. What you do makes a difference in ways, big and small, that ripple out into the world.

Hold on to Your “Why”

You are not just a cog in a vast healthcare machine. You’re a healer, a listener, and a leader. What you do has meaning and deep purpose. Take this moment to honor your impact, the lives you touch, and the difference you make each day.

If you’ve lost sight of that sense of purpose or feel the weight of constant responsibility, coaching can help you reconnect to your values, your energy, and your “why.”

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If you’ve enjoyed this article and would like to stay in the loop for more insights on creating a sustainable, fulfilling, and happy life as a physician, sign up for my newsletter or reach out on my website. I’d love to hear from you.

And if you’d like to schedule a complimentary introductory meeting with me, click the link below.

Creating Boundaries and Reclaiming Values: My Podcast Appearance on Dr. Bill Lombardi’s Journey to Better

I recently had the great privilege to be invited back to trail-blazing cardiologist Dr. Bill Lombardi's Journey to Better podcast. This is truly one of the best physician-focused podcasts out there.

Bill is a fantastic and thought-provoking interviewer! We discussed a wide range of issues facing physicians today, including

⚕️The importance of setting boundaries

⚕️How to integrate the experience of the arts into medical practice

⚕️The crucial role of effective and engaged leadership

⚕️Why defining your personal values can help you to make better decisions for yourself and your practice

⚕️How coaching can work for physicians dealing with challenges of transitions, time management, and leadership opportunities.

You can find our conversation wherever you get your podcasts, including Spotify and Apple Podcasts, or take a listen below. And if you want to listen to my first podcast appearance on the show, you can find it here.

My second podcast appearance on The Journey to Better with Dr. Bill Lombardi

Thriving Amidst Chaos: Prioritizing Health, Self-Care, and Mindfulness

An earlier version of this article appeared on this website in October 2023

When your days are busy and your evenings are full, making time for your own well-being can sometimes feel like just another thing to check off your endless to-do list. If you’re like many physicians, self-care often falls by the wayside.

The truth is that you need to recharge and refresh in order to be the best version of yourself. And, as important as it is to care for your own health and happiness, it’s not just about you. When you care for yourself, you’ll be better equipped to care for those who depend on you.

In this article, we’ll explore why self-care matters, including the impact of self-care on stress management. Next, I’ll give you some simple steps that will help you to put these ideas into motion. By caring for yourself, you’ll be empowered to thrive amidst the daily storm of medical practice.

The Impact of Stress on Burnout

It’s common to think of stress as harmful and something to be avoided. But stress can affect your health positively as well as negatively.

Positive stress (or eustress) happens when you face a challenge or a deadline that you know you are capable of meeting. It might be a stretch, but you know it’s possible. And importantly, there is a reward waiting on the other side.

While positive stress can propel you towards your goals, negative stress (sometimes called distress) can lead to frustration and burnout. Negative stressors are those forms of stress over which you have no control. A boss (or spouse) who is never happy, a job for which you are never rewarded or thanked, and escalating demands at work without adequate time off to rest and reset are all forms of negative stress.

Constant and unrelenting stress can lead to burnout. The World Health Organization defines burnout as an “occupational phenomenon.” Burnout is characterized by

• Exhaustion and loss of motivation

• Cynicism and negativity

• Inefficiency

Given the current state of healthcare, it’s no surprise that nearly half of physicians reported at least one manifestation of burnout in 2024.

It’s important to remember that burnout is not your fault. By definition, it is a symptom of a dysfunctional system or workplace. Perfectionists, people-pleasers, and so-called workaholics seem to be more susceptible. Not surprisingly, these personality types are common for physicians. But developing some tools to help you get through tough times can lessen the impact and improve your overall happiness and wellbeing.

Self Care and its Benefits

Self-care is not just about pampering yourself. It's about taking care of your mental, emotional, and physical well-being.

Committing to self-care can enhance your focus, improve relationships, lower stress, and mitigate burnout. Acknowledging the mind-body connection is often the first step towards effective self- care.

Nutritional Psychiatry and Stress Management

The new field of Nutritional Psychiatry focuses on the growing body of research that strongly connects what you eat to how you feel. Without a doubt, mental health is complex and multifaceted. Diet is only one part of the big picture.

But when you’re famished and pressed for time, the quickest options can undermine you, sabotaging your best intentions and sapping your energy.

As it turns out, those ultra-processed foods that often pass for nutrition in the doctor’s lounge or office snack machine can raise your risk of anxiety, sleep disturbance, depression, food addiction, alcohol use disorder, and increased inflammation. Artificial sweeteners in particular have been linked to a greater risk for depression.

Instead, consider switching in simple elements of the Mediterranean diet like fruits, nuts, whole grains, olive oil and fish. You probably know that the Mediterranean diet supports heart health and may reduce the risk for certain cancers. But this diet is also linked to improved symptoms of depression and better mental health and well-being. There’s also emerging evidence that a Mediterranean diet can improve perceptual performance.

It might take a little planning, but going Mediterranean doesn’t have to be complicated. Simply packing a nourishing lunch or advocating for healthier options at work can make a difference.

Exercise and Health

You already know that regular exercise will lower your risk for heart disease, cancer, bone disease, and dementia, among other dreaded conditions.

But research has also shown that exercise can reduce anxiety, improve sleep, and improve immune function. It doesn’t take a lot of exercise to reap the benefits. A brisk 15 minute walk a few days a week is a great way to get started.

Mindfulness and Self-Care

"Mindfulness is the awareness that arises when we nonjudgmentally pay attention in the present moment.” These are the words of Jon Kabat-Zinn, PhD., Professor of Medicine Emeritus at the University of Massachusetts Medical School, and the godfather of mindfulness in healthcare.

Put even more simply, mindfulness is undistracted attention.

Practicing mindfulness has a wealth of benefits, some of which you might not anticipate, including

• Healthier lifestyle choices

• Less stress and anxiety

• Greater parasympathetic tone

• Better cardiovascular health

• Improved immunity.

If it all sounds a little woo, know that mindfulness doesn’t have to be about practicing yoga or meditating. You don’t need a special cushion or a meditation app, although those can be nice. Instead, it’s about being undistracted, nonreactive, and fully present in the moment.

Getting started with mindfulness isn’t complicated. Simply set aside 3-10 minutes of quiet time each day to observe the present moment. Notice your thoughts and let them go, returning to the present when your mind wanders.

It is this practice of continually returning to the present moment that develops the “mindfulness muscle.”

When you practice mindfulness, you may find that your presence, and hence communication, with patients and colleagues becomes easier and more engaged.

Create an Action Plan

Creating an action plan will help you to set realistic goals and track your progress. Write out the steps that you need to take to commit to your self-care. And develop a plan that is realistic and actionable.

Consider enlisting a partner or friend with whom you can share accountability to help you to stay committed. Something as simple as a daily reminder on your phone may also keep you on track.

The ripple effect of taking your own self-care to heart will show up in your energy level, creativity, and relationships. You may notice a greater sense of self-compassion and equanimity. And in time, your path forward toward the goals that matter will become more clear.

If you’ve enjoyed this article and would like to stay in the loop for more insights on creating a sustainable, fulfilling, and happy life as a physician, sign up for my newsletter or reach out on my website. I’d love to hear from you.

And if you’d like to schedule a complimentary coaching discovery session, click the button below.

References

Adan, R. A. H. et al. (2019). Nutritional psychiatry: Towards improving mental health by what you eat. European neuropsychopharmacology : the journal of the European College of Neuropsychopharmacology, 29(12), 1321–1332.

American Medical Association & American Medical Association. (2024, July 2). Physician burnout rate drops below 50% for first time in 4 years. American Medical Association. https://www.ama-assn.org/practice-management/physician-health/physician-burnout-rate-drops-below-50-first-time-4-years

APA Dictionary of Psychology. (n.d.). https://dictionary.apa.org/eustress

Brulé, G., & Morgan, R. (2018). Editorial Working with stress: can we turn distress into eustress? ResearchGate. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/324531212_Editorial_Working_with_stress_can_we_turn_distress_into_eustress

Davidson, R. J. et al. (2003). Alterations in brain and immune function produced by mindfulness meditation. Psychosomatic medicine, 65(4), 564–570.

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Gilbert, D., & Waltz, J. (2010). Mindfulness and health behaviors. Mindfulness, 1(4), 227–234

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